


Time Is Relative

by BroScratch



Category: Homestuck
Genre: Afterlife, Dreambubbles, M/M, Other Characters Are Mentioned, Time is Weird
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-05-25
Updated: 2015-05-25
Packaged: 2018-04-01 02:43:28
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,490
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/4002817
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/BroScratch/pseuds/BroScratch
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>John recounts his time spent in the Dreambubbles after he got killed by his Denizen. He realises that time is actually pretty weird there.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Time Is Relative

You finally meet him a bit after you and Vriska broke up. Although you are not quite sure if you mean a few weeks, months or centuries.

Time is weird in the Dreambubbles, but that's okay. If there is one thing you have more than enough of since you died; more like, since you realised that you died; it's time.

 

You're not even mad at Terezi for tricking you into getting yourself killed; you probably never were. You weren't the Alpha John; whatever that means; and this way you got to spend time with Vriska, something Alpha John never got to have. You got to meet all these people, the other trolls and even alternate versions of your friends!

 

You don't like thinking of them as dead, because they are still here and talking with you and having fun, so they're not really dead. At least not to you, right?

 

But that's not really the point; what you meant to say was: You think it's weird how you spend all of this time in the Dreambubbles, meeting all these people and it's only now that you finally meet _any_ version of Dave.

 

He'd probably think it's ironic that you had to go through hundreds of years filled with weird fish-trolls annoying you with lame pick-up-lines before getting to meet your best bro. Seriously though, you'll be happy if you could spend the rest of your afterlife never meeting another Cronus.

About Eridan... Well, there are some Eridans who are okay and some who should just go double die. You never knew the guy or even heard much about him but from what Vriska told you, you think he has some major trust and relationship issues.

 

Most of the trolls have some kind of problem. None of them talk much about how they grew up but the stuff you heard doesn't seem like much fun. Vriska is probably the one who's messed up the most and when she started talking about using her alternate friends as bait for this big bad boss, you decided it would be better to break it off. You two had fun together, but she's a really messed up and most of all  _dangerous_ person. If she want's to enslave her friends for some weird plan that might not even work, she has to do it without you. Besides, while you were with her, she always took command, so now you can actually do stuff  _you_ want to do!

And what you want to do, is to finally, centuries late, spend some quality bro-time with Dave.

 

It only took you like a few days or maybe a few years but there he is. The Bubble you were in just merged with another one and there he is in all his cool kid glory and his weird green plush suit.

It is time.

 

"DAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAVE!"

 

He hears you and does not even hesitate for a split second. Centuries are nothing compared to the strength of your bromance.

"JOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOHN!"

"DAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAVE!"

"JOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOHN!"

"DAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAVE!"

"JOOOOHN! Fuck! I don't even care, get your body over here and embrace me in a tender bro hug, you magnificent piece of shit!"

He feels like plush, best bro and smells like apple juice. It is all you ever dreamed it to be.

 

"Holy shit, John, you don't even know how long I've been looking for you in these freakin' bubbles, been like a totally real treasure hunt. Call me Ben Gates because I've been on the hunt for this sweet loot for like at least a zillion years! Fuck, I've been so busy I didn't even get to change into my old dirty wifebeater, I'm so fucking sorry, man, I knew were positively hyped for this and I just went and messed it up. Shit, I don't even care, you feel way too good, better than twenty piles of soft, warm plush-rumps."

Goddamn, this dude. You can't help but chuckle at how incredibly dorky he is.

"Dave, damn, your rants are even shittier in person. You're lucky that I don't care, any other guy would have left you after the first line."

"Can it, Egbert, you love it."

Yeah... You guess you kinda do.

 

* * *

 

The two of you spent the next few days or eternities together; just talking and making up for the time you didn't get to meet.

He tells you that you are actually just the second John he has met yet.

He laughs at how much of a dork you have to be to not meet any Dave.

  
"Bro, these bubbles are positively swimming in dead Daves thanks to all my time shenanigans. You are the king of dorks. It is you."

"Shut it, Dave, where are all the John's you met if it's so easy?"

"Well dude, I would have totally wanted to have quality bro times with that one John, but he was macking on that Karkat and making an absolute fool of himself. You can not believe how embarrassing it is, to watch your best bro tongue-wrestle with that shouty little god-tier troll."

Making out with god-tier Karkat? Well... That might have been you, to be honest. But Dave does not need to know that.

 

You find out that he tries to avoid any alternate Daves. Appearently he doesn't like to be around himself, didn't like having himself as a sprite when he was still alive, and you can kind of understand him. Meeting yourself is just plain weird. It's unsettling to see these what-ifs, but thankfully all your selfs seem to think like that and interactions are limited to short greetings and maybe some  _"Oh yeah, there are like a dozen Amporas over there, don't go there."_ .

 

You are happy. Your part in the big story might be over, but you are actually happy. Dave is what you needed.

Watching Troll Rom-Coms with Karkats or watching a bunch of Nepetas roleplay is fun, but Dave gets you. He was and still is your best bro, even if he just can't stop bashing the glory that is every Nic Cage film ever. But his rants are funny and you know he only does it to annoy you, so you laugh it off and search for a Dreambubble with more DVDs.

 

You're still not sure how long it's been since you, well, died and you there are moments when it hit's you that this afterlife is just for the players. That you will never meet your Dad again. You can see that Dave thinks the same about his Bro whenever you end up in a Bubble with something to remind him, be it a smuppet or shitty swords.

 

Every once in a while you meet a Rose or Jade and they tag along for a while, but somehow it always gets back to just the two of you hanging around, going through every movie ever at your house; well at least when you happen upon a Dreambubble with your home or at least a TV in it; or exploring places obviously dreamed up by some of the trolls.

When you get to a carnival you see some version of Vriska with one of the fish-trolls and you think about saying Hi. You leave them be when you seem them holding hands on one of the rides.

 

After an eternity or two you see another John and Dave, cuddling beneath one of those trees with the plush-dragons hanging from it. Your Dave asks you to try that sometime and when you turn to look at him, he says:

"Oh yeah, I've had this little school-girl crush on you for like the last few thousand years or so, hope you don't mind. Wanna make out?"

You decide that you don't mind and that you do want to make out. You spent enough time with trolls to adapt at least a bit of their weird culture and, to be honest, being pseudo-alive in the Bubbles for this long widens your horizons.

 

So now you add making out and couple things to your routine and you realise what you missed when you were with Vriska. Dating your best bro is pretty nice. Not much changes, he doesn't expect anything from you and you only make out a bit once in a while. He'd describe it as  _"Pretty chill"_ .

Even with all the Dreambubbles and games and movies and all that, eternity seemed awfully boring. But now that you have Dave around to entertain you, it suddenly isn't so bad anymore.

You actually look forward to it.

 

 

* * *

 

One day you meet up with quite a few other ghosts in one of the bubbles. Somehow this one seems important, you just don't know why.

Neither does Dave or any of the other ones.

"Yo, John, bro. What's that?", he asks and you get a bad feeling about this whole situation.

You look up to the sky and take Dave's hand while you watch a golden sarcophagus descend.

**Author's Note:**

> You can go ahead and just disregard the last paragraph if you prefer to leave the two of them in their happy afterlife, but I think it wraps the whole thing up nice.  
> Thanks to my lovely beta-reader Loki, if I had put more than just a few hours into this, I would dedicate it to you, but that will have to wait for something better!


End file.
